THE WISDOM OF TAO


He who knows other men is discerning; he who knows himself is intelligent. He who overcomes others is strong; he who overcomes himself is mighty.

Sunday, February 11, 2024

King Mosiah and the end of the Kings

 

I don’t fancy myself as a writer. I can write, have been doing it all my life, but that doesn’t make me proficient. But I do usually take some thought into my posts. This time not so much. For the reason that I haven’t posted in too long and I just want to jot things down while I have time and before the thoughts fade.

I was reading the last chapter in Mosiah, King Mosiah was coming to the end of his reign, He is wondering how the people will get along after he is gone. I can sense that he has put a whole lot of thought into how the people are going to be governed. It is clear to me that he has considered whether kings are the way to go. He shows that he has seen or even experience good kings and not so good, even wicked, kings. He says that if the people could be governed by a righteous King, that would be great. But that a wicked king would be the cause of the people being wicked and be the cause of strife, persecution and he goes into a little detail about the problems that follow. Let me emphasis that it seems he has put much thought into this topic. He goes so far as to say that his son, Aaron, has turned down the offer to be king, but what happens if he changes his mind at a later time and feels that he should be king. The potential is there that “And who knoweth but what my son, to whom the kingdom doth belong, should turn to be angry and draw away a part of this people after him, which would cause wars and contentions among you, which would be the cause of shedding much blood and perverting the way of the Lord, yea, and destroy the souls of many people.”

Mosiah then talks about the advantages of having elected men lead and judge the people. He calls them Judges.

 

He says “it is not common that the voice of the people desireth anything contrary to that which is right; but it is common for the lesser part of the people to desire that which is not right;” To me that sounds like he has a very good grasp of the way society works. He sounds like he has learned from personal experience and observation over the years.

He then says “And if the time comes that the voice of the people doth choose iniquity, then is the time that the judgments of God will come upon you; yea, then is the time he will visit you with great destruction even as he has hitherto visited this land.”

This is a pretty good prediction, or may even be a prophecy, of the decline of the Nephite people.

Mosiah continues to explain how to deal with these elected Judges who turn out bad, or become bad, prideful, immoral and corrupt. Which shows to me that he again shows his wisdom and insight which he has acquired over his reign.

All this was the words of Mosiah, “For behold I”   and “therefore I will.” Then there is an abrupt change in verse 33 “And many more things did king Mosiah write”

 

At this point I realize that Mormon is done quoting from the writings of Mosiah and started summarizing. I didn’t immediately catch on to this. But the tone changed and so I had to figure out why. It didn’t take long, and I didn’t have to be a genius to see it.

I have read this chapter many times. But it really struck me this time – Joseph Smith was 22 years old, 7 years of grade school. Never had seen a king, nor been ruled by a king. Had probably never thought of being ruled by a quorum of judges, higher judges and lower judges. And in the midst of this delving into the ways of the Nephite people, he suddenly shifts gears to have Mormon then take over the authorship of this fictional book that he is inventing?

I know that the Book of Mormon came from the writings of God’s prophets in the Americas. I know that Joseph Smith was an instrument in God’s hand to translate it. I have had a testimony of this for most of my life. I don’t know any more, after this epiphany, then I did before. But still, it was a powerful testament to the divinity of that Book.   

Friday, June 21, 2019

Stand Forever There is nothing as important as this

It would be best to listen to this.  It can be found at YouTube or BYU Speeches. you can even watch at those places


Stand Forever

LAWRENCE E. CORBRIDGEGeneral Authority Seventy                                                January 22, 2019 • Devotional

As part of an assignment I had as a General Authority a few years ago, I needed to read through a great deal of material antagonistic to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Prophet Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and the events of the Restoration. There may not be anything out there of that nature I haven’t read. Since that assignment changed, I have not returned to wallow in that mire again.
Reading that material always left me with a feeling of gloom, and one day that sense of darkness inspired me to write a partial response to all such antagonistic claims. I would like to share with you some of the thoughts I recorded that day, and although what I wrote was for my benefit, I hope it will help you as well.
I wanted to give a different talk today. I wrote other talks more entertaining, with more stories—more engaging than this one—but each time I wrote a new talk, I was directed back to this one.
The prophet Daniel said that in the last days
shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom, which shall never be destroyed: and the kingdom shall not be left to other people, but it shall break in pieces and consume all these kingdoms, and it shall stand for ever.1
The kingdom of God is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It will “stand for ever.”
The question is, Will you and I stand? Will you stand forever, or will you go away? And if you go, where will you go?
When the Lord described the signs of His coming and the end of the world, when He described our day, He mentioned many things, including wars and rumors of wars, nations rising against nations, famines, pestilences, earthquakes, and many other signs, including this one:
For in those days [this day] there shall also arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders, insomuch, that, if possible, they shall deceive the very elect, who are the elect according to the covenant.2
I am not sure of all that is implied by the qualification “if possible, they shall deceive the very elect,” but I think it means, at least, that everyone will be challenged in our day.
Paul said, “We see through a glass, darkly.”3 Similarly, one of the most prominent features of the vision of the tree of life is a “great mist of darkness [in which] they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost.”4
There are many who deceive, and the spectrum of deception is broad. At one end we meet those who attack the Restoration, the Prophet Joseph Smith, and the Book of Mormon. Next we see those who believe in the Restoration but claim the Church is deficient and has gone astray. There are others who also claim to believe in the Restoration but are disillusioned with doctrine that conflicts with the shifting attitudes of our day. There are some who, without authority, lay claim to visions, dreams, and visitations to right the ship, guide us to a higher path, or prepare the Church for the end of the world. Others are deceived by false spirits.
At the far end of the spectrum we come to an entire universe of distractions. Never has there been more information, misinformation, and disinformation; more goods, gadgets, and games; and more options, places to go, and things to see and do to occupy time and attention away from what is most important. And all of that and much more is disseminated instantaneously throughout the world by electronic media. This is a day of deception.
Truth enables us to see clearly because it is the “knowledge of things as they [really] are, and as they were, and as they are to come.”5 Knowledge is crucial to avoid deception, to discern between truth and error, and to see clearly and chart a course through the hazards of our day.
The Prophet Joseph Smith said:
Knowledge is necessary to life and godliness. . . . Knowledge is revelation. Hear, all ye brethren, this grand key: knowledge is the power of God unto salvation.6
People say, “You should be true to your beliefs.” While that is true, you cannot be better than what you know. Most of us act based on our beliefs, especially what we believe to be in our self-­interest. The problem is, we are sometimes wrong.
Someone may believe in God and that pornography is wrong and yet still click on a site wrongly believing that he will be happier if he does or he can’t help but not click or it isn’t hurting anyone else and it is not that bad. He is just wrong.
Someone may believe it is wrong to lie and yet lie on occasion, wrongly believing he will be better off if the truth is not known. He is just wrong.
Someone may believe and even know that Jesus is the Christ and still deny Him not once but three times because of the mistaken belief that he would be better off appeasing the crowd. Peter wasn’t evil. I am not even sure he was weak. He was just wrong.
When you act badly, you may think you are bad, when in truth you are usually mistaken. You are just wrong. The challenge is not so much closing the gap between our actions and our beliefs; rather, the challenge is closing the gap between our beliefs and the truth. That is the challenge.
So how do we close that gap? How do we avoid deception?

Primary Questions and Secondary Questions

Begin by answering the primary questions. There are primary questions and there are secondary questions. Answer the primary questions first. Not all questions are equal and not all truths are equal. The primary questions are the most important. Everything else is subordinate. There are only a few primary questions. I will mention four of them.
1. Is there a God who is our Father?
2. Is Jesus Christ the Son of God, the Savior of the world?
3. Was Joseph Smith a prophet?
4. Is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the kingdom of God on the earth?
By contrast, the secondary questions are unending. They include questions about Church history, polygamy, people of African descent and the priesthood, women and the priesthood, how the Book of Mormon was translated, the Pearl of Great Price, DNA and the Book of Mormon, gay marriage, the different accounts of the First Vision, and on and on.
If you answer the primary questions, the secondary questions get answered too, or they pale in significance and you can deal with things you understand and things you don’t and things you agree with and things you don’t without jumping ship altogether.

Different Ways of Learning

How can we know the answers? There are different methods of learning, including the scientific, analytical, academic, and divine methods. The divine method of learning incorporates elements of the other three but ultimately trumps everything else by tapping into the powers of heaven. All four methods are necessary to know the truth. They all begin the same way: with a question. Questions are important, especially the primary questions.

The Scientific Method

With the scientific method, a hypothesis is framed in response to a question. Experimentation is then conducted to test the hypothesis. The results are then analyzed, and conclusions are drawn that either confirm, disprove, or modify the hypothesis—in which event the process continues. Alma invited us to “experiment upon [his] words.”7 The Lord said:
My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me.
If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.8
In regard to tithing, the Lord also said, “Prove me now herewith . . . if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.”9
Truth can be discovered by doing, which is faith. Experience plays a vital role in coming to know the truth.

The Analytical Method

The analytical method is also important. It involves gathering, organizing, and weighing evidence relevant to a question. Based on the weight of the evidence, conclusions are drawn as to what the truth may be. The Lord instructed Oliver Cowdery, saying:
Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.
But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right.10
Evidence and reason also play a role in preparing us to know the truth.

The Academic Method

The academic method involves, of course, study of the written word. Study as well is essential. Mormon said that the word of God has a “more powerful effect upon the minds of the people [how we think] than the sword [which might be the fear or threat of death], or anything else.”11The word of God is more powerful than anything. It is more powerful than fear, addiction, pornography, or anything else. It stands to reason, therefore, that the Lord would say, “Treasure up in your minds continually the words of life.”12 He also said, “And whoso treasureth up my word, shall not be deceived.”13

The Divine Method

The divine method of learning incorporates the elements of the other methodologies but ultimately trumps everything else by tapping into the powers of heaven. Ultimately the things of God are made known by the Spirit of God, which is usually a still, small voice. The Lord said, “God shall give unto you knowledge by his Holy Spirit, yea, by the unspeakable gift of the Holy Ghost.”14
The apostle Paul taught that men only know the things of men and that the things of God are known by no man except through the Spirit of God.15 He said, “The natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him.” We see that every day. Paul continued: “Neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.”16
Of all the problems you encounter in this life, there is one that towers above them all and is the least understood. The worst of all human conditions in this life is not poverty, sickness, loneliness, abuse, or war—as awful as those conditions are. The worst of all human conditions is the most common: it is to die. It is to die spiritually. It is to be separated from the presence of God, and in this life, His presence is His Spirit or power. That is the worst.
Conversely, the best of all human conditions in this life is not wealth, fame, prestige, good health, the honors of men, security, or even—dare I say it—good grades. As wonderful as some of those things are, the best of all human conditions is to be endowed with heavenly power; it is to be born again, to have the gift and companionship of the Holy Ghost, which is the source of knowledge, revelation, strength, clarity, love, joy, peace, hope, confidence, faith, and almost every other good thing. Jesus said, “The Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, . . . shall teach you all things.”17 It is the power by which we “may know the truth of all things.”18 “It will show . . . [us] all things . . . [we] should do.”19 It is the fountain of “living water” that springs up unto eternal life.20
Although the voice of the Spirit is usually a still, small voice, it is nevertheless ever sure, penetrating, pervasive, edifying, and sustaining—so much so that the Lord said:
And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.21
Pay whatever price you must pay, bear whatever burden you must bear, and make whatever sacrifice you must make to get and keep in your life the spirit and power of the Holy Ghost. Every good thing depends on getting and keeping the power of the Holy Ghost in your life. Everything depends on that.
So what was the gloom I felt several years ago while reading antagonistic material? Some would say that gloom is the product of belief bias, which is the propensity to pick and choose only those things that accord with our assumptions and beliefs. The thought that everything one has believed and been taught may be wrong, particularly with nothing better to take its place, is a gloomy and disturbing thought indeed. But the gloom I experienced as I listened to the dark choir of voices raised against the Prophet Joseph Smith and the Restoration of the Church of Jesus Christ—the gloom that came as I waded, chest deep, through the swamp of the secondary questions—is different. That gloom is not belief bias and it is not the fear of being in error. It is the absence of the Spirit of God. That is what it is. It is the condition of man when “left unto himself.”22 It is the gloom of darkness and the “stupor of thought.”23
The Lord said:
And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.
That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.24
Revelation from the Spirit of God supersedes belief bias because it is not premised only on evidence. I have spent a lifetime seeking to hear the word of the Lord and learning to recognize and follow the Spirit of God, and the spirit associated with the dark voices that assail the Prophet Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and the Restoration is not the spirit of light, intelligence, and truth. The Spirit of God is not in those voices. I don’t know much, but I do know the voice of the Lord, and His voice is not in that dark choir, not at all in that choir.
In stark contrast to the gloom and sickening stupor of thought that pervades the swamp of doubt is the spirit of light, intelligence, peace, and truth that attends the events and the glorious doctrine of the Restoration, especially the scriptures revealed to the world through the Prophet Joseph Smith. Just read them and ask yourself and ask God if they are the words of lies, deceit, delusion, or truth.
There are some who are afraid the Church may not be true and who spend their time and attention slogging through the swamp of the secondary questions. They mistakenly try to learn the truth by process of elimination, by attempting to eliminate every doubt. That is always a bad idea. It will never work. That approach only works in the game of Clue.
Life, however, is not nearly as simple. There are unlimited claims and opinions leveled against the truth. Each time you track down an answer to any one antagonistic claim and look up, there is another one staring you in the face. I am not saying you should put your head in the sand, but I am saying you can spend a lifetime desperately tracking down the answer to every claim leveled against the Church and never come to a knowledge of the most important truths.
Answers to the primary questions do not come by answering the secondary questions. There are answers to the secondary questions, but you cannot prove a positive by disproving every negative. You cannot prove the Church is true by disproving every claim made against it. That will never work. It is a flawed strategy. Ultimately there has to be affirmative proof, and with the things of God, affirmative proof finally and surely comes by revelation through the spirit and power of the Holy Ghost.
To His disciples, Jesus asked:
Whom say ye that I am?
And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.
And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-jona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.
. . . Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.25
The Church of Jesus Christ is grounded on the rock of revelation, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. We are the Church. You and I are the Church. We must be grounded on the rock of revelation, and although we may not know the answer to every question, we must know the answers to the primary questions. And if we do, the gates of hell shall not prevail against us and we will stand forever.
Finally, believe. Believe “with God all things are possible.”26 We may all be taken back from time to time by the extraordinary—such as walking on water, multiplying bread and fish, raising the dead, translating gold plates with special lenses or a stone and hat, and the visitation of angels. Some people are hard-pressed to believe extraordinary things. While it is understandable that we may be challenged by the extraordinary, we shouldn’t be, because ordinary things are actually far more phenomenal.
The most phenomenal occurrences of all time and eternity—the most amazing wonders, the most astounding, awesome developments—are the most common and widely recognized. They include: I am; you are; we are; and all that we perceive exists as well, from subatomic particles to the farthest reaches of the cosmos and everything in between, including all of the wonders of life. Is there anything greater than those ordinary realities? No. Nothing else even comes close. You can’t begin to imagine, much less describe, anything greater than what already is.
In light of what is, nothing else should surprise us. It should be easy to believe that with God all things are possible.
The healing of the withered hand is not nearly as amazing as the existence of the hand in the first place. If it exists, it follows that it can certainly be fixed when it is broken. The greater event is not in its healing but in its creation.
More phenomenal than resurrection is birth. The greater wonder is not that life, having once existed, could come again but that it ever exists at all.
More amazing than raising the dead is that we live at all. A silent heart that beats again is not nearly as amazing as the heart that beats within your breast right now.
That one could see on a stone or through a special lens the modern translation of ancient text written on plates of gold is far less amazing than the human eye. The wonder is not what the human eye may see, rather, that it sees anything at all.
How can you believe in extraordinary things such as angels and gold plates and your divine potential? Easy, just look around and believe.
I don’t know if pigs will ever sprout wings and fly, but if they do, flying pigs will never be nearly as amazing as the ordinary pig in the first place.
I heard someone say recently, “It is okay to have doubts.”
I wonder about that. The Lord said, “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.”27 I have a lot of questions; I don’t have any doubts.
There is a God in heaven who is our Eternal Father. I know this by my experience—all of my experience. I know this by the evidence, and the evidence is overwhelming. I know it by study, and, most surely, I know it by the spirit and power of the Holy Ghost.
Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Redeemer of the world. I know this by my experience—all of it. I know this by the evidence, and the evidence is overwhelming. I know it by study, and, most surely, I know it by the spirit and power of the Holy Ghost.
Joseph Smith was a prophet of God who laid the foundation for the restoration of the kingdom of God. I know this by my experience—all of my experience. I know this by the evidence, and the evidence is overwhelming. I know it by study, and, most surely, I know it by the spirit and power of the Holy Ghost.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the kingdom of God on the earth. I know this by my experience—all of it. I know this by the evidence, and the evidence is overwhelming. I know it by study, and, most surely, I know it by the Spirit and power of the Holy Ghost.
And with that I know everything I need to know to stand forever.
May we stand on the rock of revelation, particularly in regard to the primary questions. If we do, we will stand forever and never go away. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Thursday, June 20, 2019


"Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."
- Bob Marley

Saturday, May 25, 2019


Poll: 56 percent of Americans don't want Arabic numerals taught in schools

LOS ANGELES - A recent poll from CivicScience, an American market research company, has revealed what the CEO of the company is calling “the saddest and funniest testament to American bigotry we've ever seen in our data.”

“Should schools in America teach Arabic numerals as part of their curriculum?” was the question posed to 3,624 respondents: 2,020 of them, or 56 percent, said “no.”

Twenty-nine percent of respondents said that Arabic numerals should be taught in American schools, while the remaining 15 percent had no opinion.

The survey didn't provide an explanation of what “Arabic numerals” meant, a move that CivicScience CEO, John Dick, said was employed to “tease out prejudice among those who didn't understand the question.”

Arabic numerals are taught in schools and used in everyday life by most Americans, and they are the standard system used to denote numbers in most other parts of the world as well.

The digits 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 are Arabic numerals, developed in the 6th or 7th century in India and later introduced to Europe through the writings of Middle Eastern mathematicians, most notably Al-Khwarizmi and Al-Kindi, in the 12th century. These numerals paved the way for complex math systems, like algebra, which replaced archaic counting methods like the abacus.

The survey wasn't just about knowledge and ignorance, though, and CivicScience looked at the split between Republican and Democrat answers to gain insight into bias and prejudice.

Seventy-two percent of respondents who identified as Republican said that Arabic numerals should not be taught in school, and 40 percent of respondents who identified as Democrats held the same opinion.

The question about Arabic numerals wasn't the only question posed in the survey, however. A second question reveals that bias and prejudice go both ways.

“Should schools in America teach the creation theory of Catholic priest George Lemaitre as part of their science curriculum?” was also posed to respondents. Seventy-three percent of Democrats answered “no,” versus 33 percent of Republicans.

Lemaitre was a Belgian astronomer and cosmologist who studied physics at the University of Cambridge as well as Massachusetts Institute of Technology's Cambridge campus, which led him to study the theory of an expanding universe. He went on to propose what we know today as the Big Bang theory. He also happened to have been ordained as a Catholic priest before entering the field of physics.

“While Lemaitre is more obscure than Arabic numerals, the resulting effect is almost identical. Dems are biased against Western religions, if latently,” John Dick explained, “This kind of blind prejudice can happen on both sides.”

that article caught my attention.
I suspect that the social media epidemic is to blame. It has shortened peoples (young peps) attention span to the point where content is secondary to a strong antagonistic opinion.


Thursday, May 23, 2019

Time is up, Let us stand united

it has been 3 years since the American populace choose a New President. 
It is time to stop whining, stop finding fault. stop criticizing. Stop putting others down, for any reason. Yes, bad things happen, dissensions have been made that are not the best. None of us are perfect. but it seems those who are the loudest, consider themselves perfect.
This includes the commander in chief

Who doesn't believe that support, kindness and encouragement will not provide an environment that is vastly better then the alternative. We can tear this nation apart, tear it down, and who does that benefit? Or we can come up with solutions, better alternatives, and then be willing to work together to get those things to happen. and not become violent when we don't get our way. 

There is an actor who has declared he is devoting his time and career to embarrassing the current President, until he resigns of his own accord. Who believes that the current President would ever do that?  If a large minority wants a different person as President. get one on the ballet. Someone with integrity, class, intelligence, and some humility, while being committed to the greater good. Someone who commands power by using all those qualities, instead of being loud and critical of others, and putting those who disagree with them, down. 


It is time for us all to grow up,  stop acting like spoiled kids. To be part of a solution. everyone knows the rhetoric. 

I am so tired of the contention and finger pointing. tired of criticizing the person responsible for enforcing the laws, for the laws that exist.  I envy those people with that kind of time to waste.


Let us stand united. 

Every football team has differences of opinions.  with 50 players, 30 coaches and trainers and assistants, there is bound to be differences in what makes them successful and create wins. 

But when the team comes out of the locker room, that contention stays in the locker room. The other team will never find out. and the fans will never know.  

Now the country has become a laughing stalk around the world. And it needs to stop. we need to put of a united, strong front.  and solve our problems with the people who can solve them, not the media, social, serious or fake.  




Friday, February 24, 2017

Monday,  December 26, 2016.

Whitney and Mike have just left.  RaVoe has been here all day with me, supporting and encouraging me. We checked in at noon time. But weren’t assigned a room for an hour or more.
With this being the holiday, things are pretty quiet.
In November I told my primary care doctor that once in awhile I felt a brief, kind of minor pain in my chest.  That has led to today,  and this week. I had 3 EKGs and last Wednesday I had an angiogram.  They would have put a stent in at that time if they felt that was the best option for me, while they were inside me.   But the problems were extensive enough that that was not going to happen.  So tomorrow I start surgery at 7 or so,  and will be done at 2 or so.  I will be in this hospital for about 6 days.  



I have not felt myself age, I remember my dad telling me he didn’t feel as old as he was, but I don’t remember how old he was at the time. And it could have been multiple times, at different times in his life.  I understand that completely. I have always felt invincible. My blood pressure was good, until a few years ago. Although I have been diabetic since 99, I have felt immune to the effects of that. I have really tried to take good care of that, and felt that I would be protected from the problems associated with that. I had a glimpse into the possible reason why I might die - I accept we all get to do that. And because of that and because of my age, I have been thinking more and more about the end of this life. I have a firm belief that life goes on. That I have a Father in Heaven. And that my parents lives have continued. I am not worried about death. I am worried about what I leave behind.  I support the family.  I love their associations,  I want to protect and make things right for RaVoe.

I have felt a lot of support from everyone,  they all say the same, predictable stuff, but I believe that they really mean it.  And it feels good. And I have one more reason to be grateful.
I can’t say enough, how important my family means to me, and the support they show me.

I am so grateful for my testimony. For the comfort it gives me.
I am really not thinking this is the end,  but as that day comes closer, it makes the prospect not just easier, but as an adventure. I have been more sensitive to pains in the last 6 days, because of the test results last week.  I have kinda looked forward to this day since then. To relieve the worry that I might collapse and have that horrible pain that is supposed to accompany a heart attack.
I think about the relief that death will bring - on many levels.  Honestly I don’t want to rush it.  But there is some appeal.

11:30 pm
Listening to Neil Young.
The will come at midnight to test my blood sugar, and put a heart monitor on me.
Then I think I get up at 4?!?!  To continue the prep work.  If they just keep me up all night they won’t need the anesthesia


Jan 2 10:15 am
I am sure I have already forgotten things that I would have liked to written about, but this has been quite draining.

Tues morning I was roused at 4 or 5 and showered again, then more preparations were made. At about 7 Voe, Andie and Sam showed up, and they watched some of the prep, then they wheeled me away.
Tuesday evening I regained consciousness and Voe, Whitney, McKay and Sam were there, Max was in the hallway trying to comfort Andie, but both were a little overwhelmed and didn’t come into the room. I understand that.


I had lots of tubes and wires and looked more dead than alive, and I was reminded of how frail and old my own mom looked when I saw her in ICU after her bypasses. She was asleep when I saw her, but I spoke to her, and later she told me she could remember me being there. Now I understand how strengthening that can be - to know of someone’s support.

My wife was a huge comfort.


As were my kids, I can't say enough about that.

Throughout the stay in the hospital folks called RaVoe to offer support and best wishes and to get updates, and Jen Glismeyer fielded other calls and passed information back and forth. We had comments of love and prayers on the instagram posts, and we had the same on face book posts, and it all felt really good to know those people were thinking of me.



I got home Saturday the 31st, in the afternoon.  And while there were no yellow ribbons, there were many offers to bring in dinners but I think people were told that they wouldn’t be needed until I got out of the hospital. RaVoe and I have always been of the independent mind that people have been making themselves food all their lives, and we didn’t see much need or reason to do that - to accept those meals.  Now I understand - it is heartwarming and encouraging to see that kind of effort.  It is like a tangible love, and it is wonderful to be on the receiving end.

The hospital workers were great. Efficient, and caring. It was difficult to get the rest and feel calm, and relaxed. It is a balancing act between enough care, and enough sleep. But I was ahead of schedule and was a little proud to be able to come home on Saturday. But I can see now that recovery will be longer and more disappointing then I had thought.  I def don’t feel like skiing or even going back to work.

Feb 21.  8 weeks.  
I have had all restrictions removed.  I skied three times last week.   I took it easy, not because my lovely wife told me to, but because I have been sitting around too long.  
And today I played singles, at racquetball.  I played doubles last week.  I am undefeated this year. The Aches and pains in my chest have mostly gone away. It is surprisingly tender to the touch my chest is. I have been told that takes a long time to go away.  The Doctors have been wonderful. I have yet to find out how much things are going to cost.  
What a blessing to have this behind me, and to have found out I was diseased before I was deceased. But the doctor said I was in pretty bad shape,  And there are still things that couldn’t be fixed with the 4 bypasses.  He told the family that, while I hadn’t come out of the anesthesia.  It was a sobering moment for them. So there are things I need to do, to complete the recovery process.  My diet is the biggest part of those things.  
But the blessing of the surgery pales in comparison to the blessing of a new grandson!



David Walter Dodge was born yesterday, on Presidents day.  And He are Whitney are heathly and happy.  He is the cutest thing ever.  (says the biased grandpa). And lest I forget, he was born in the covenant - Mike and Whitney were sealed in the Draper Temple!
And the third blessing, since checking into the hospital, is the engagement of Andie to the wonderful man, Jordan Allred.  Which underscores the idea that the greatest blessing in life are centered within the family.  

Here are 4 of my greatest blessing that I have had all my life -

well, Helen came along a tad later, but thanks to her, my brother is all that he can be.

I thank those who have prayed for me,  sent encouraging messages, even did just a thumbs up on some post.  I have been truly overwhelmed.  

Here is an x-ray of the wires they twisted together to hold my sternum together after it was sawn apart



And here is me, not able to get enough of Wally 




and here am I, glad things are behind me. 




Saturday, April 16, 2016

I'm Lamen?

Voe and I were reading in Nephi, and after Nephi and Sam and Laman and Lemuel had been visited by an angel, in the cave, and after they had witnessed miracles, we read this verse:

(Laman speaking of Nephi)
1 Nephi 16:38 Now, he says that the Lord has talked with him, and
also that angels have ministered unto him. But behold, we know
that he lies unto us; and he tells us these things, and he
worketh many things by his cunning arts, that he may deceive our
eyes, thinking, perhaps, that he may lead us away into some
strange wilderness; and after he has led us away, he has thought
to make himself a king and a ruler over us, that he may do with
us according to his will and pleasure. And after this manner did
my brother Laman stir up their hearts to anger.

Once again we were reminded of how crazy the logic was of Laman and Lemuel.
I looked at my wife and said, "There can't be anyone more stupid then these two guys."

Every time I read 1st Nephi, I am on Nephi's side. "How can those to idiots forget so fast? It was just on the preceding page that the Angel had came while they were beating Nephi with a rod!"
And I don't learn the lesson that is there. I don't learn a lesson when I put myself in Nephi's shoes.

That verse in chapter 16 is just before Nephi shocks them, and persuades them to help build a ship.
This could be as long 7 years after the family left Jerusalem.  7 years of toiling in the wilderness is a long time.  Here is the lesson I have learned. I need to be continually seeking the Spirit in my life, and I need to be continually exercising my testimony by sharing it, strengthening it, or at least telling myself about the things I know to be true.  
Because, even though I had a great experience, and felt the Spirit lift me up, a month ago, I still find myself making selfish decisions, having thoughts that lead me away from what I want to be and what I know to be important, or just neglecting to improve.   I can't stand still in my testimony.

I need to put myself in Lemuel's shoes, and understand that the bad attitudes and reluctance to obey the commandments are because of me,  not my brothers and sisters both in and out of the church.

It is too easy, to develop the attitude of Laman, even though I have been visited by the Lords spirit just a couple of chapters ago - If I am not continually on my guard.
So, again, here is the lesson I got this time through:
I need to be continually seeking the Spirit in my life, and I need to be continually exercising my testimony by sharing it, strengthening it, or at least telling myself about the things I know to be true.  

MWO